Saturday, December 31, 2016

Annual New Year's Posty Thing, 2016-2017 Edition: Fear and Action

4 years ago on New Year's Eve, my mother called me.  She was coughing up blood, she said, and she was at the hospital.  They might put a tube in her, and if they did, she wouldn't get to talk to me for a bit.  

That was the last conversation I ever had with my mom.  She died about a month later of lung cancer and pneumonia.  

My mother was a remarkable woman in many ways.  She graduated from Cornell University and became a doctor at a time when it was very unusual for women to do so.  She started her own practice and it thrived.  She worked up until the day she went into the hospital.

As remarkable as she was, my mother was also a very fearful woman.  She lived in fear of many things, cancer being one of them, and organized her life in such a way that she thought she might avoid or prevent her fears from becoming reality.  Living like this, I believe, contributed strongly to my mother's final condition.  Even more so, I believe it prevented her from doing a lot of things in her life.  

I see this pattern often amongst people I encounter.  With clients, I see it manifest in fear of the weights (which prevents them from lifting what they want to lift), fear of lifestyle change (which prevents them from making the changes they want to make), and, as odd as it may seem, fear of changing their bodies or their health (in that they may use their current condition as a sort of comfort or shield from other things in their lives... more on this in another post).  Outside the gym, I see it manifest in various ways that prevent people from making changes, taking action, or realizing dreams.

To many people, the change in year doesn't mean much.  Time is time, no matter how you label it.  While this may be true, I see the new year as a symbol that may help people become motivated to take action.  

I value action.  

Someone posted on social media the other day that they wondered why certain people were dying, but they were still here.  Here was my response:

To me it doesn't matter WHY I'm here so much as THAT I'm here. And as long as I am here, I am going to try to make good things happen-- for myself, for other living creatures, for the planet. Make the most of the life you have, and instead of questioning your existence, celebrate it and make the most of it. 

Hopes, prayers, and good thoughts are all wonderful things, but without action they do very little.  I've seen lately that people have been feeling helpless due to the election, to events in the world, to events in their own life.  I am writing this blog today in the hopes that I can help at least one person feel empowered to take control of what they are able to control.

Here's how you can take action in the things you want to do.

LIFESTYLE CHANGES:

I wrote this blog post a while back about ways to begin a healthier lifestyle.  I wrote this blog post last year about making resolutions stick.  While it is fitness-related, I believe these rules apply for just about any lifestyle change you'd like to make.  

CHANGES IN YOUR CIRCLE:

There is no bad time to clean out your closet.  Whether that means getting rid of things you don't need, getting rid of thoughts and patterns that don't serve you well, or getting rid of poisonous people in your life, it is a valuable and very empowering thing to do.  While it can be scary to let go of something that's been around you for ages, making that leap and clearing out the garbage can do amazing things.  I cannot recommend it enough.

If the people close to you are going through tough times, great times, or neutral times, the best thing you can possibly do is be there for them.  Whether that means letting them know you love them from time to time, going out to lunch or dinner when you can, or just dropping them a note/text/PM/whatever to let them know you're thinking of them, these little actions can mean a whole lot.  If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's not to wait for someone to die to celebrate their life.  Be the friend you'd want someone to be to you.

CHANGES IN THE WORLD:

If you want to see change in the world, you must use the resources that are available to you.  This generally translates to either time or money (or both).  So you can:

Volunteer.  There's a good chance there are tons of opportunities to volunteer near you.  If you're not sure where to find them, VolunteerMatch is an excellent website to help you discover ways to donate your time in your area for causes you care about.  This year, I started volunteering at a local school to help children with their literacy skills, and I also spend a lot of time helping local animal rescues locate foster or forever homes.  

Donate.  CharityWatch is a great place to research the places you'd like to donate to to ensure that your money is going to the right places.  Some of my favorites are EarthJustice, International Rescue Committee, Animal Welfare Institute, Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund International, Farm Sanctuary, Environmental Defense Action Fund, and the Cancer Research Institute.  I also donate to local animal rescues and homeless organizations.  For local organizations such as these, you don't even have to donate money-- they often are in need of things like:
           

I also carry Ziploc bags filled with toiletries, nonperishable food items, and dog supplies (for people with dogs) in my car to distribute to homeless people I often see on my commutes.  

I realize this post is a bit different from what I usually post on New Year's, but I feel like it's an important one.  I hope it helps someone.  I wish you the very best in the new year, and every year.  May it be full of love, good health, and plenty of action.


Do you have suggestions on good ways to take action?  Post 'em here!

ROCK ON, 2017!



4 comments:

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    1. Thank you so much, and happy new year to you!

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  2. Great writIng Melody! We share a similar story, my Mother passed in January of 2005 of lung cancer. Similarly, she had a tube inserted to help her breathe; one lung had collapsed. She passed one week after being in ER. Life is precious, love the thoughts!

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    1. I am so sorry to hear that. Lung cancer is a top killer of nonsmoking women. http://www.lung.org/lung-health-and-diseases/lung-disease-lookup/lung-cancer/learn-about-lung-cancer/lung-cancer-fact-sheet.html

      Big hugs to you. Happy new year!

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